Tuesday, August 25, 2009
a full mind
This is a picture of where we like to go camping. My husband captured this. It"s the world when it is winding down right before dark, your last chance to view it's beauty before it is engulfed by night.
We tent it, if you can believe that. All nine of us in two big tents and I wouldn't want it any other way. We swim, hike, ride bikes, take walks beside the lake, grill, sit around a camp fire, and roast marshmallows.
Once the kids are in bed, my husband and I sit around the fire, snuggle into each other and just drift into our thoughts before we to head into the tent to sleep.
Which to drift into my thoughts would be like getting onto the freeway with loops, turns, and twist. My mind keeps going to questions of my life decisions. I sometimes wonder if Life would have been easier for my husband, my children and I if I would have went to college. So I could have helped in the burden of money. I wonder If my time I invest in my children and my husband is making an impact, enough that it has been worth tight times. I love being with my kids, my husband and taking care of my family. I know that my boys wouldn't get as good of care at a daycare than they do with me. It would be hard to juggle speech therapy, early childhood teacher, deaf educator, Doctors appointments, plus five other children that need my attention. I know that if I worked I would be often to tired to be a devoting wife but still it crosses my mind some days that my husband carries a heavy burden supporting us. Tonight It has once again crossed my mind and as I put the kids to bed and started cleaning up the kitchen I happened to look up to a frame with a reading in it from Roy Lessin. I often forget it is there. Going by it dozens of times to busy to look up but tonight I did and I needed to. I thought I would share it with you.
A woman once fretted over the usefulness of her life. She feared she was wasting here potential being a devoted wife and mother. She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband and children would make a difference.
At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated. "Is it worth it?" she often wondered. "Is there something better that I could be doing with my time?"
It was during these moments of questioning that she heard the still small voice of her heavenly Father speak to her heart. " You are a wife and mother because that is what I have called you to be. Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye. But I notice. Most of what you give is done without remunerations. But I am your reward.
Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be without your support. Your influence upon him is greater than you think and more powerful than you will ever know. I bless him through your service and honor him through your love. Your children are precious to Me. Even more precious than they are to you. I have entrusted them to your care to raise for Me. What you invest in them is an offering to Me.
You may never be in the public spotlight. But your obedience shines as a bright light before Me. Continue on. Remember you are My servant. Do all to please me.
I read this and I know God has called me to be a wife and mother. I need not worry about finances or any other worries. God will walk us through it all. God would not have given me two very special gifts, "our two boys who are deaf" if he didn't think I would cherish them and do right by them. He would not have given me five more children to rear, love, and take care of. I need to remember when I look back at life that I am exactly where God wants me to be.....