DADS

This is my DAD, Verdel. He is a wonderful man. When I was little I thought that all men were evil. I thought God didn't know I existed. My childhood included a very sick man (my birth father). I am grateful that he created me but that would be it. God knew me. He watched over me. He couldn't control my birth father. He did give us free will. However God could watch over me and let me see the blessing that I have received. My mom finally got out of that horrible situation with her first husband. She used food to comfort her pain. She started meeting friends and they introduced her to O.A. (over eaters anonymous). This is were she met my dad. We lived in V.A. They dated for over two years. My two brothers and I were not so nice to him. I think in our minds that if our birth father could be the way he was with us, all men have to be this way. Verdel stuck it out. He was tough. I am not saying he never was hurt by us children but he was patient and never left us. They married and not long after my dad retired from the navy. My mom and dad decided we all needed a fresh start so my dad moved us to his childhood home, Nebraska. It was different, small, and it was slower paced. At the time it was scary and I was broken. God knew I needed Nebraska. I came out of my shell and started healing. It has taken over 21 years but I think I am almost there. I think most of my wounds are healed. My DAD is a wonderful man. He stuck by and loved me unconditionally till I was ready to except him. He never had any biological children but instead got three broken kids from his marriage. He excepted us as though we were his and he never looked back. I was sixteen before I started to let him in but by the time I was eighteen I truly felt blessed to have such a wonderful DAD and let him know so. When I had my first child, my dad was in the delivery room with me. I felt he deserved to have the experience of child birth. He may not have created us but he made us. I wanted him to see life from the beginning. A child undamaged, a child free to love unconditionally. I am glad he was in the delivery room with me. I was a scared little girl and he kept me calm. To this day Douglas and My DAD have a special bond. He is a caring grandpa. Teaching them all how to build things, how to work on cars, and most of all he is teaching them to love unconditionally. I am blessed. I am grateful that he loves me....

A little history

Douglas was Born 2-15-1993. I didn't discover he was deaf till July 4th. Back then they didn't do a screening for hearing in the hospital. When we thought he was deaf we went to our family doctor. When he opened the door to the room Douglas looked towards the door. He said, "oh he can hear, he heard the door open." FYI, most deaf people have excellent perifial vision. Well he told us that even if he has a hearing problem he would be fine till he was a year old then have him tested. My mom didn't except that answer and she called e.n.t specialist till she found one that would see him without a re feral. They tested him and told us they were sure he was profoundly deaf but they would like to refer us to Boystown National Research Hospital in Omaha Nebraska. Once there we discovered he heard at very high decibels in the low frequencies and pretty much nothing in the high ones. They fitted him with hearing aids and went with total communication. We made sure to have him wear them always. People would ask how we got him to keep them in. Persistence is what we would say. He did better than everyone expected but by six we realized that his hearing was very limited. We looked into a cochlear implant and he was excepted as a candidate. I knew nothing about them and as a young mom just went with whatever was offered. Woulda, shoulda, coulda gets you no where and I can't go back. When he was hooked up he didn't cry or get upset he wanted his hearing aid in but we told him to leave this on for now. Being six it was nice that he could communicate by sign and some voice to let us know he was hearing. A straw pulling through the plastic lid from McDonald's was so fascinating to him. Everything he heard he would stop and ask "did we hear that? What is that?" When he was implanted they only had the body worn. He had a fanny pack he keep the device in and the wire ran up under his shirt and through at the neck to connect to his magnet. They were working on the behind the ear and we received a voucher to get one once they were out. He has done well with them. I say "them" because he was implanted with his second about seven months ago. Advanced Bionics' batteries are not as they should be. They are suppose to hold a charge for up to fourteen hours. They last about four hours so he has to keep at least four batteries on him or he goes deaf. Also the prongs that connect to the device break easy. Other than the batteries everything has been well. He talks almost perfect. He signs just as well and I love that about him. He has had his ups and downs but for the most part, I think he is a well rounded, typical teenager.